1. Zoda took about 100 hits, he didn't go down in three.
2. I did like the fact that I could match each character from the pic at the end of Star Tropics.
3. In case you didn't play ST2, you should know that Hirocon DOESN'T die. He is saved in ST2.
4. It is highly doubtful that Argonians would be using the same slang as humans, let alone our entire language.
5. At one point you said that only three people could go in a cube, yet later you said that the four boys were in one and the two girls were in another while Mica was alone.
6. Mike always wears a light blue t-shirt, not white.
7. You refer to the island as Coralcola, when in fact the island is C-Island, the village is Coralcola.
8. You refer to the morning star, when in the game it is called the shooting star.
Responses:
1: Artistic license. I wasn't expecting to show the entire fight between Nightmare Zoda and Mike, just the chunk that I considered important.
2. Strangely enough, that was the basis of my premise.
Nintendo never gave us anything else to go off of, so I had to fiddle.
3. Did I say Hirocon died?? (Innocent look) Come on. I've played both games, and I'm WELL AWARE of that particular thing. This story of mine takes place between ST1 and ST2, so relax. It will let ST2 take place as it must.
4. Oh, they have their own language. That said, they have had two weeks at the beginning of this story on C-Island(Coralcola, I consider the two synonymous) to get used to everyone. And nobody questions how Mica can speak English the moment they pop out of the cubes...? If Nintendo can fudge that much, I deserve a tiny bit of leeway.
5. I did?? Whoops, that's an error. Boys in one cube, the two girls in another, and Mica to form the third Trifor---I mean, MAGIC CUBE.
6. Light blue, white...blah. A minor detail.
7. I consider the two synonymous.
8. The Shooting Star may be the named title for the weapon given by the Shecolan Amazons, but a Morning Star is that type of weapon. Shrug.
Otherwise, I was pleased to hear that overall, the story was both engrossing and enjoyable. That's what's truly important about any story, and as long as you can do that, then the average reader can look beyond the minor details.
And besides...there is such a thing as an editor, which would be you, apparently. I do need one, it seems, lordy lordy...but only when I go pro.
Meantime, here's a preview of chapter four...
In the middle of the room, with a great deal of sunlight pouring in from the gaping hole in the ceiling overhead stood a sizable mass of metal.
Giskard moved towards it, no longer needing the light of Dr. Jones’ lantern. His eyes were wide, his hands reaching towards it. “This…This is…”
“The very same escape ship that your King Hirocon used to send you to Earth.” The archaeologist finished.
Giskard stepped up next to it, running a hand along its surface. Dr. Jones adjusted his glasses. “It…must feel odd for you to be here, touching it.”<br>
“No…not really.” The youth responded slowly, his gaze fixated on it. “I’m just not used to being on this side of it.” He moved his hand along the side until his fingers dipped into one of the three cavities carved into the melted craft’s side. “It just looks like a meteorite now…like it was supposed to.” Giskard clucked his tongue, pulling his fingers back and out of the slots that had once contained the Argonian stasis cubes. “So where exactly on this thing is the cipher? I’d like to see how you cracked the code to get us out of this thing.”<br> The archaeologist moved up beside the boy, edging to the right. No longer needing it, he set his lantern behind him so he wouldn’t trip over it. “Over here, Giskard.” Dr. Jones smiled as he saw the familiar lines of text that had begun the entire mess.
Giskard harrumphed as he knelt down beside the objects, running his fingers across the engraved runes. “Heh…I see why Zoda would have a problem translating this. Argonian in itself isn’t a hard language, just a very lyrical one. But this is Hirocon’s standard scramble.” Giskard looked up at the archaeologist and smirked. “You must have figured it out, of course.”<br> “Naturally.” Dr. Jones chuckled. “But to me, it wasn’t all that original.”<br> Giskard lifted an eyebrow. “Excuse me? Hirocon’s habit of leaving his most important information encoded backwards was his hidden, defining trait! How can you say that isn’t original?”<br> “Because here on Earth, there was an engineer and artist named Leonardo Da Vinci who did the same thing.” Dr. Jones explained. “Da Vinci’s oddity is well known to the better schooled inhabitants of Earth, and I’m not a code cracker by any means. It was a wild guess to apply Da Vinci’s idea to the cipher, but it worked.”<br>
Giskard mulled over the thought in his head and nodded. “But only to a degree, I see.” His hand danced from the first few lines to the next. “The first section is the one you had to have translated; it provides the instructions for how to remove the cubes…and how to link them together to free the contents.”<br> “As I recall, I provided the first with ease, but gave him utter nonsense for the second.” Dr. Jones smiled. “He didn’t seem too pleased…He had his suspicions, but no patience. In the end, the cubes were his. So he left me in the ruins to die of starvation and went back aboard his ship to leave Earth, and figure out the last section of what I could translate on his own.” The explorer shrugged. “Of course, he did not count on the fact that my dear nephew was hot on his heels.”<br> “And a good thing, too.” Giskard murmured. “So, then, I’m to take a crack at this last portion of the cipher?”<br> “If you might.”
The Argonian narrowed his eyes, staring at the runes a little harder. “Gah…all right, reverse it then…” His fingers tapped against the side of the craft. “Blast it all, even…What is this?!”<br> Giskard stood up, flustered.
“I take it you couldn’t do it?”<br> “It’s nonsense and madness.” Giskard murmured. “Common Argonian, Ancient Argonian, arranged in such a way that I can’t make out what’s reversed and what isn’t. Argonian characters all have an opposite meaning assigned to their reversal. There’s a message in it…but I’d need more time. More than this passing glance.”<br> The good doctor sighed. “As much as I surmised. But fret not, Giskard. Time we have, in great abundance.”<br> Giskard stretched out his arms, stepping away from the cipher and looking about the room. “I want to believe…That this place is a relic of the Starseeker’s journeys. But everything in my past research goes against it.”<br>
The archaeologist thought for a moment, then walked over to the wall on the opposite side of the room from the ruined spaceship. Half of him was hidden in the shadows, beckoning slowly. “Giskard, grab my lantern for a moment and come over here.”<br> The boy obligingly complied, and set after him with the warm glow swinging back and forth in his hand.
Dr. Jones had his eyes closed when the youth approached, but opened them and stepped to the side, motioning above his head.
“Tell me what you see here.” The archaeologist whispered.
Giskard raised the lantern up and narrowed his vision again.
It only took him a few moments before his eyes widened. Stubbornly, he kept his jaw from dropping.
“Juh-Halla Nek martula lor, endama kighra potus kor…” Dr. Jones smiled as the boy uttered those words. “Your language…it sings.”<br> “Ancient Argonian always did.” Giskard said quietly. “But you were right. These…This…”
“Is an outpost of your Starseekers?” Dr. Jones pressed. The boy nodded. “And what did the runes say?”<br> “Roughly translated…The final place the Starseekers reached, an unlikely son the King beseeched.” Giskard took a step back and shook his head. “What that means, I’m clueless about…But the Starseekers were here. And this place is for real. It leaves a lot of open questions, though.” Giskard faced Dr. Jones. “Every time the Starseekers found another planet, the records on Argonia were changed to reflect it…And the only person who had the authority to alter those records was the royal family.”<br> “So then…You’re saying that the records were altered by royal decree?”<br> “Had to have been.” Giskard muttered. “And in the time of Hirocon…if not by Hirocon himself.”<br> “What makes you say that?”<br> “He sent us here.” Giskard said, his voice gaining confidence. “Hirocon…He was good hearted, love a joke, was a friend of the people. But he wasn’t rash…there was always a plan, or barring that, a d**ned good reason for everything he did. He just said he was sending us away…maybe he told Mica something different, but if he did, then it was between them. All the same, there was no place in Argonia’s normal sphere that was safe. He couldn’t have sent us here, to Earth…unless he knew about it in the first place. Thus, at least for a time in his reign, the record had to have existed.”<br> “And…Zoda followed.”<br>
The two stood like that for a while, a few answers beginning to dawn on them as more questions appeared.
-Startropics: Follow The Southern Cross
Here's to a good thing coming.