Coralcola
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Forget the Hollywood mess. If I was host, I'd have Wheel tape on C-Island. :)
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Post by Coralcola on Feb 6, 2006 21:32:26 GMT -5
[WHEW! Wowzer, reading all that made me feel I was back in high school dealing with all sorts of BS like that again. I never thought that anybody on here would actually wanna discuss something like that in the forum. However, if you want advice, I'll give ya my 2 cents. (Remember, this is coming from a single 19 yr old college student who never had a girlfriend, and up to high school was the most UNpopular kid in the school.) First off, I will tell you that by the time you become a senior, a lot (but not all) of this kind of "do you think he likes me, I think I like him, but I don't think that he thinks I like him" BS will cease to exist, and a lot of the popularity situation will disappear too. By the time I was a senior, it was a sort of running joke with kids in my class that there wasn't a person in my school who didn't know me (or thought badly of me for that matter, quite a contrast from elementary and middle school... ;D ) Why am I mentioning this? Not to be cliche (though cliches are often some of the most truthful things one can say), but don't put on an act for anybody or any girl, be yourself, and BE HONEST! Don't try to push the physical thing too much either, call me old-fashioned, but I think sex in middle and high school is WAY OVER THE TOP. Don't press your luck (save it for college ). Those two guys who were being a little too horny will have it slapped in their face much sooner rather than later *initiate: karma*. You shouldn't try to analyze those two guys, what they want, or bring what their situation with your friends or family is into the matter. Look at it objectively and with a clear mind. You like this girl, she has not publicly declared she has a boyfriend, and you both are already friends with each other. This is a great situation for you to ask her to have dinner and a movie, no pressure attached. You could even go as friends if you want (you gotta start somewhere). If she says no, fine, you two are still friends and move on (maybe ask her a few months down the road), if she says maybe, say something to the effect of "maybe next week?" If she says "I'll think about," ask her again after a couple of weeks (don't pressure her too much), and if she says yes, well... CONGRATS, I'm sure you should know how to take it from there... I had a girl I liked my senior year, it was the only one I admitted to ANYBODY I liked, but later on during the year, the ifsy boyfriend she was with became more so, and she in turn became very loose... Needless to say, by the end of the year, her parents found out of their exploits, and she got her just desserts. I often wonder if I approached her before, if I could've stopped some of this from happening but realized, probably not. There were other girls I liked, and are now good friends of mine, and I wish I had gotten it over with in school and asked them out then, instead of still wondering about if I should do it today or tomorrow... Okay, I'm done with my second rant of the night (check Fan Games for my first one). That's my opinion on it all, you can take it or leave it. To be cliche again, follow your heart, trust your instinct, and don't be a coconut-head, or... have bananas in your ears, or anywhere else for that matter (sick joke, I know, but I like it). ;D
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Post by nightscrabbler on Feb 6, 2006 23:14:29 GMT -5
My advice: Stay cool, wait for a good opportunity, don't try to do too much. The key is to let her know that you are interested in her as soon as she becomes available (don't waste time, otherwise she'll find someone else who considers her a bigger priority than you do). Ask her to go ice skating with you, that's usually effective and fun.
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Scotty D.
Administrator
Totally Awesome Dude
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Post by Scotty D. on Feb 7, 2006 0:34:56 GMT -5
Also...you noted something like this in your original post...don't focus your attention so much on one person that you completely miss out on someone in your periphial (sp?) vision (so to speak...). I've done this a couple of times and I have missed out dearly because of it...so just be aware of other girls in your life that you may not necessarily see as primary potential girlfriends.
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Post by Matt on Feb 7, 2006 15:47:42 GMT -5
Ehh let me clear somethin up. I live in friggin bum f**k Ohio. My entire grade consists of 30-40 people, and its very rural. It would take at least 5-10 minutes or more driving to other peoples houses, and probably 30 mintues driving to movie theaters, and 10 minutes to any resturaunt. This may not seem like much to you, but for someone without a licens and that doesn't drive illegally, its pretty much impossible for me to take a girl out on a date. Also, just for the record, I wasn't describing the guy to show how much I dislike him, just to show how much of a lowlife piece of scum he is.
Also, she kind of has publicly declared that she has a boyfriend, so that idea is shot out the window.
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Coralcola
Global Moderator
Forget the Hollywood mess. If I was host, I'd have Wheel tape on C-Island. :)
Posts: 1,981
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Post by Coralcola on Feb 7, 2006 18:18:45 GMT -5
Well, you there just answered yourself why getting and keeping a girlfriend in high school is so tough. I live in a rural area too (not as rural as you describe, but rural nonetheless), and now knowing what you just told us, I don't know what you would expect out of a relationship at this point, given your many limitations. Me personally, I don't consider a person being in a relationship or being girlfriend/boyfriend until they have been out on at least a couple of dates, and it sounds like that going on even one date with her would be a stretch right now... You may not like what I'm about to say, but consider it. You may just wanna stick with being friends with her now, until you are at least old enough to drive or maybe older, when not as much is holding back a relationship. Stay friends with her, get to know her more, and see how she reacts to her current situation. If, a few years down the road, she seems to be pretty much the same person you've always liked, maybe try it again, but *WARNING* people change a lot in the teen years, and its possible you may not like her in a year or two, or after you get to know her a certain extent more... If that happens, you will probably be happy when and if you look back and realize that going out would've been a mistake. Keep your options open, don't restrict yourself too much... Sorry, that's all the help I can provide right now, my Dr. Phil meter has spun out of control and I'm out of ideas. I need a break (how about I go play ST? YAY)!
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startropicsmaster
Argonian Hero
The best intentions invite the worst trouble...
Posts: 728
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Post by startropicsmaster on Feb 8, 2006 17:01:52 GMT -5
good, now maybe ya'll can help me. I'm in 7th grade(young, yes) and I had a girlfriend in 6th. We dated for about 2 months and then found out she was playing me for this scumbag! I was pi**ed when I found out. I gave it another try though, cause I still liked her. Then, after about 2 months, she played me again! I declaired I wasn't going to date her again. Well, now were best friends(how, I don't know) and I think shes dating someone else to make me jelous and get me back(I think she really likes me now), but I don't want to say no if she asks and us not be friends anymore. Help me!!! What do I do???
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Scotty D.
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Post by Scotty D. on Feb 8, 2006 17:08:44 GMT -5
You want my honest opinion? Don't give it another try. She's played you twice...don't fall into that trap again. If she really does like you and wants to try having a serious relationship with you...she missed out. She could've done that the first time...or even the second time, but if it were me in your position, I wouldn't stand for it. Second chances are nice...but third chances are rare and I don't give them. If that means sacrificing a friendship, then so be it. I know that sounds really harsh, but if it happens, then it happens.
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Coralcola
Global Moderator
Forget the Hollywood mess. If I was host, I'd have Wheel tape on C-Island. :)
Posts: 1,981
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Post by Coralcola on Feb 8, 2006 21:29:19 GMT -5
I second S2H's thoughts. Don't fall into a trap like that again. Of everyone on here, you're the youngest, and you have a lot more time to get in a relationship with a person who you can actually trust and whom which you can foster a healthy relationship with. Don't let people play you like that, it's not the way people should treat other people, ESPECIALLY people they supposedly care about...
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startropicsmaster
Argonian Hero
The best intentions invite the worst trouble...
Posts: 728
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Post by startropicsmaster on Feb 9, 2006 13:13:18 GMT -5
Ok, thanks a lot 4 the advice.
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Scotty D.
Administrator
Totally Awesome Dude
Roll Initiative!
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Post by Scotty D. on Feb 9, 2006 15:25:21 GMT -5
No problem...it's what we're here for
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Post by Matt on Feb 10, 2006 15:17:05 GMT -5
Yeah, you definately don't want any of that action. I know a girl who is somethin like that. She dated my friend Eric for awhile, and then while dating him, she started flirting with my other friend, Kyle. So she broke up with Eric, went out with Kyle, and a month or so later, ended up with a new boyfriend. Don't expect girls like that to stick around very long.
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startropicsmaster
Argonian Hero
The best intentions invite the worst trouble...
Posts: 728
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Post by startropicsmaster on Sept 13, 2006 15:35:16 GMT -5
ok, this topic hasnt been spoken on in a while...but i need a bit of help again. There is this girl I like, a lot! and usually i'm a nervous reck around girls i like, so asking her out ain't happened yet. friend of mine said he'd do it, but i really didnt think that'd work. he did anyway, me thinking he was going to ask her. but he gave her a note asking! i heard and i almost lost it! but she said no, and figured she would being told with a note. however, i've known her for almost 2 years now, and she seems to like my presence. Laughs at most of my jokes, smiles at me a lot, hangs around me whenever possible...etc. I believe that the note kinda gave her a bit of a shock and wants me to do it myself. I just dont have the guts to do it, and she only has 2 classes with me! and that gym (try catching her running around...not easy...) and math, which im swamped with work and we arnt allowed to talk. after that, i dont see her again until we go to lockers at the end of the day. she has homeroom with me too, and usually a bus rider, so we talk on the way. but thats nowhere enough time to do anything. can ya'll possible help me on this?
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Cannibal-Ox
C-Serpant Slayer
"You Couldn't Bust Caps If You Were Holdin Down Shift"
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Post by Cannibal-Ox on Sept 13, 2006 18:24:45 GMT -5
Always... ALWAYS Have A Back Up Plan... Meaning: Work 2 Girls At Once So That If One Falls Through You Still Have To Other To Fall Back On. I Gurantee That I Am The Holier Than Thou Relationship Guru.. & Can Drop The Science That Will Pull You Through Any Situation. But Heres My Advice For You Guys.. & Any Other Of You Cats Who Are In High School... Forget About Hookin Up, You Guys Are Young Why Do You Need To Be Commited To A Relationship? I'm 22 & I Don't Wanna Be Committed To A Relationship. Don't Get Me Wrong Havin A Signifcant Other Is A Wonderful Wonderful Thing, But Choosin To Be Committed While In High School? Thats Like Puttin Yourself In A Box Man.
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Coralcola
Global Moderator
Forget the Hollywood mess. If I was host, I'd have Wheel tape on C-Island. :)
Posts: 1,981
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Post by Coralcola on Sept 13, 2006 19:27:51 GMT -5
I'm 22 & I Don't Wanna Be Committed To A Relationship. Don't Get Me Wrong Havin A Signifcant Other Is A Wonderful Wonderful Thing, But Choosin To Be Committed While In High School? Thats Like Puttin Yourself In A Box Man. Amen to that! My recommendation (and it's something I followed), keep friends with this girl, wait until later, when you're not so busy with things (college? ), you'll have more free time, and more of a good selection as time goes on too. ;D Committing yourself to a single, really serious relationship in high school can be tough, and unless you're doing badly in school already, you may be finding yourself on the road to a LONG, HARD last few years of school ahead (and it's not like they aren't already difficult enough)...
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Cannibal-Ox
C-Serpant Slayer
"You Couldn't Bust Caps If You Were Holdin Down Shift"
Posts: 161
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Post by Cannibal-Ox on Sept 14, 2006 8:16:08 GMT -5
Then Again... On The Other Hand... Goin Through This Drama & Makin Mistakes In High School Is A Good Thing... Because Then You Will Be Able To Avoid The Obstacles & Pitfalls In Future Relationships.
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